The Rectordays

I'll never forget writing this letter…. I thought about it all day and would not allow myself to go to bed until I had written it. I wanted Baby #3 to know my exact thoughts the day I learned of them - just like I had for Eleanor and Tripp. I guess the funny (actually, not funny at all) thing about writing it, was that I was scared the whole time. I was so nervous that if I actually put my thoughts on paper (or in the computer) that anything going wrong would be magnified that much more. I call that funny only because I really didn't have that with E and T…. of course I was always nervous or scared that I could lose them in the womb, but I don't know if I can explain it. Just a different feeling…. one that I guess I couldn't really believe it was that easy again, pregnant for the third time., and it felt really fragile. So I wrote what is below…. knowing that the letter to our sweet Baby #3 would be the first in their baby book (um, this blog) like E and T both have.

I guess there is a part of me that really hates writing this, but at the same time I believe that it was no accident that yesterday's conversation with Eleanor took place. It always amazes me, it is literally constantly mind-blowing, how sanctifying child - bearing / rearing really is. Its like the Lord is trying to shake me…. "are you listening??? please tell me you heard that, Karen….". I just want to say I get it, today, I get it.  It really has all started ever since my little darling, precious, perfect angel baby turned 3 years old. Its as if something woke up this part of her that she nor I are familiar with… and well, if I am being completely honest a part that I am NOT loving. (Keeping it real here, sweetheart… you'll understand when you are a mom someday). It is as if Eleanor has realized that she can have an opinion about, well, what can't she have an opinion about?.... gasp. All of the sudden challenging momma's thoughts or ideas is not only pos

Yesterday we celebrated Eleanor turning THREE years old. I have to pause for a moment.... I just said my baby girl is three. I literally feel as though life was put on lightning-speed mode once my kiddos were born. Throughout the day yesterday, I constantly had to remember that we were celebrating.... I purposefully made the biggest deal out of her third birthday making sure it was FUN, exciting and meaningful for her.... Eleanor, it was all for you, but at the same time I felt like I needed to make it such a big deal because this sentimental momma was actually having a pretty tough time coming to grips with how fast it has all seemed to zoom past us. I kept thinking about the mundane and monotonous days that we sometimes have and how it seems like the hours last for days.... and how in that moment, yesterday, I wished for each hour to slow down a bit more. I wanted it to feel long, I wanted to sit and hold her, I wanted to listen to her talk or sing to herself while playing with her t

Tripper's Birthday Party was also on his actual birthday... for some reason, I just love that both of my kiddos were able to have their parties on their actual days! Seeing as he was born the day after Thanksgiving, we figured it was perfect (and probably the only year) that we could celebrate "Our Little Turkey!"... the party was SUPER simple with just our families, small group and the Rives family... we had moved into our new house the week before, so it was bare-bones, but perfect. We served a chili bar (forgot to get a picture of that!) with both white and traditional chili and all the fixings, veggies and hummus, chips and dip and turkey cupcakes... SUPER simple :). Tripper's Birthday cake.... The day before the party, we decided to make a last-minute outdoor chalkboard for our fence... to this day, it is one of the kids' favorite activities! It is hard to look at this picture below without crying... I can't believe these blue