The Rectordays

Last year I sobbed and sobbed through sentences as I prepared for Eleanor to start Kindergarten.... and exactly one year later, here I am again, prepping to send my baby boy to school. Its funny, because I am not as emotional as I was last year {yet...} but I am exponentially more excited to see what all this year holds in store for my Tripper. Buddy, since the day you were born you have lived up to your name... in every way. You really are the strong-willed warrior (William) that we prayed you would be. Sometimes, I wish it wasn't as heavily weighted on the "strong-willed" portion, but you know what, I don't really mean that. Because here is what I see in you.... someone who is so convicted of his desires that literally neither hell or high water will keep you from accomplishing or getting what you want. Currently, this makes parenting you VERY hard. But it makes the duty of shepherding your heart incredibly exciting.... because what greater prayer could we have fo

It is no secret, though of course it is not in all of my conversations, that we have been struggling with infertility for the last 4 years. My last pregnancy was in 2013 and resulted in an early miscarriage.... from that point on, we have been unable to conceive. We've visited all our doctors, specialists, had tests run and small procedures done... but we have never once seen those sweet two lines on a test again. I won't lie - it sucks and it has sucked every day for the last 4 years. But somehow, the Lord has also really done a great work in my heart through this struggle and wanting. For the longest time I would pray Daniel 3:18 just yearning to believe the words that even "if not, He is still good." Truly, I didn't believe it - didn't want to believe it because then I told myself that was a way of letting God off of the hook - if I confessed that He was good, His plan for our family is good, regardless if I get what I want.... well, then just take what I w

Tomorrow, you are seven. Eleanor..... do you even know how much my world has changed with you in it? You aren't perfect. But baby girl, you are everything. I'll never be able to put into words the magnitude of love my heart holds for you. I {love} hate the fact that I remember exactly, I mean EXACTLY, the moment when labor began with you and yet.... you are seven. you are SEVEN. how? sweetie, these years are going by so quickly... too quickly.... and my heart just can't keep up. I told someone a few months ago that I would give my right arm to get back those first few months with you for just a day... and I'm struggling repeating that sentiment today because I know in just a few short years I'll be pleading to repeat ages five, six, seven and beyond with you again. I've probably written this before but in case I haven't... I remember about two weeks after you were born I was walking in Northpark mall with you when a man came up to me and asked how old my