Seeing Closure (but not really).
I'll never forget writing this letter…. I thought about it all day and would not allow myself to go to bed until I had written it. I wanted Baby #3 to know my exact thoughts the day I learned of them - just like I had for Eleanor and Tripp. I guess the funny (actually, not funny at all) thing about writing it, was that I was scared the whole time. I was so nervous that if I actually put my thoughts on paper (or in the computer) that anything going wrong would be magnified that much more. I call that funny only because I really didn't have that with E and T…. of course I was always nervous or scared that I could lose them in the womb, but I don't know if I can explain it. Just a different feeling…. one that I guess I couldn't really believe it was that easy again, pregnant for the third time., and it felt really fragile. So I wrote what is below…. knowing that the letter to our sweet Baby #3 would be the first in their baby book (um, this blog) like E and T both have.