Sunday, July 30, 2017

S E V E N

Tomorrow, you are seven.

Eleanor..... do you even know how much my world has changed with you in it? You aren't perfect. But baby girl, you are everything. I'll never be able to put into words the magnitude of love my heart holds for you. I {love} hate the fact that I remember exactly, I mean EXACTLY, the moment when labor began with you and yet.... you are seven. you are SEVEN. how? sweetie, these years are going by so quickly... too quickly.... and my heart just can't keep up.

I told someone a few months ago that I would give my right arm to get back those first few months with you for just a day... and I'm struggling repeating that sentiment today because I know in just a few short years I'll be pleading to repeat ages five, six, seven and beyond with you again. I've probably written this before but in case I haven't... I remember about two weeks after you were born I was walking in Northpark mall with you when a man came up to me and asked how old my baby was in my covered stroller... when I shared that you were brand new, his response has haunted me from that day forward..... he said, "oh my baby girl is new too, but I dropped her off at college this weekend. Don't blink, you'll be doing the same thing before you know it".... and I laughed it off. Today, I'm bawling my eyes out as I remember that account.... because your precious life seems to be on warp speed.

I would say this year was a banner year for you. You finished kindergarten in a new school, having to make new friends, learning new material and you thrived. It was exciting to hear you read your first few books, amazing to watch math skills start to make sense, inspiring to hear you share about your new friends - I loved it because I witnesses you soaring. Again, not perfectly, but it was pretty amazing to watch you develop these new skills sets and bravely make new friends. Here's something I love most about you, punkin bottom... again, I don't get to see everything but from all that I've witnessed I see that you are different. I've prayed, and I continue to plea, that you would be a woman of compassion and honor (Eleanor) who's life would point to Christ (Michael). I'm not sure that you fully understand the depths of what Christ has done for you, but E, you are kind. you are loving. you are friendly. you are pleasing. you are joyful. you are loyal. Eleanor, you love people with your whole heart. You assume the best in those that you surround yourself with, so you are trusting. You are bravely confident all while being incredibly unassuming and humble. You'll never ask to be the center of attention, but you love to support the friends that naturally find their way there.

Your sixth year, you learned that hearts can break. And it has made me so angry and so protective.... I hate that you now have a little picture of the fallen, hurtful world we live in. While in your bravest moments (being in a new dance class with no friends all year and ending on stage when you'd rather be in the audience) you felt belittled, mocked and excluded by other little girls who may not have fully realized what they were doing. E, I'm so sorry. I'm actually so, so angry. Because I watched it lift these precious pure scales from your eyes in the last few months.... I now watch you approach friendships, new opportunities (camps, vbs, playdates) with trepidation because you don't know how you'll be received. And E, don't believe the lies. You are brave.... you are beautiful...  you are kind, and strong, and friendly and baby girl, exactly who you are is just right. The Lord has made you so uniquely beautiful and talented - and I pray, plead even, that all of your days you will rest assured of who He has made you... instead of what the world tells you that you are not. You are the bravest, most beautiful girl I know. I tell you this every day, but what has made you so beautiful is not what the human eye can see... no baby girl, its your heart, your countenance, your kindness, your humility, your bravery, your friendliness, YOU are so beautiful because you practice beauty.  I pray you rise to that challenge for the rest of your life, but not in your own strength... but that you would be completely, utterly dependent on Jesus Christ to be the center, to be the reason, to be the manner in which your true beauty shines.

You are seven and I wish time would freeze... but it doesn't, so today I celebrate YOU. I love you with my entire heart, with all of the fibers in my body and with words I could never express. I will continue to fail you, but Eleanor..... you are my best girl. You will always be my favorite girl. And I am so humbled that I've had seven amazing years of knowing and loving you. Praying for the most He can offer to me as we look to the future. If the next seven are as sweet as these have been, my heart may explode. I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy birthday, Eleanor Michael.


No comments: